


Destiny pulls you forwards (his words call you back)

by moonlights0nata



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Episode 46, M/M, ryoken feels one(1) emotion and has to run away on a boat, this is more abt ryoken than ryosaku but it's There, yusaku will wait for you babe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 01:06:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14225775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights0nata/pseuds/moonlights0nata
Summary: Maybe what he hates the most about this moment,  is that part of him had longed, for an instant, that he'd loose. That Playmaker would stop him. It's the part that he most wants to claw out and crush in his fingertips, that he wants to burn and turn to ashes. The part that wanted to long for Playmaker's words, that wanted to cling and believe in them.





	Destiny pulls you forwards (his words call you back)

**Author's Note:**

> Me, after episode 46: i can't believe yusaku confessed his love and ryoken ran away bc he can't deal with emotions  
> I love this boy i really do but HONEY.....
> 
> Anyways this is mostly a little introspection (? i guess) abt ryoken after the duel and a deleted scene kinda moment

He lost.

Playmaker has completely and utterly bested him.

His head is already screaming at him and it's with a hasty warning that he will return that he logs out. Waking up back in the real world feels like coming out of deep water, and he feels the need to take a sharp intake of air.

Everything is much the same, the sun setting outside, the silence in the room. Ryoken's aware of Yusaku's body slumped against a wall, still logged into Link Vrains.

He turns to the other lingering presence in the room, his father's limp and lifeless body lying in the bed. Something cold sets in the pit of his stomach at the sight, now combined with a new sense of failure.

He knew what he had to do. It was all for his father, it was the last thing he'd wanted him to accomplish. He'd already sacrificed so much for this plan, so many people, so many lives, he was ready to embrace all the guilt and give himself to the tower along with everything, all for his mission, for his destiny. It's everything he has.

But he's failed.

Maybe what he hates the most about this moment, is that part of him had longed, for an instant, that he'd loose. That Playmaker would stop him. It's the part that he most wants to claw out and crush in his fingertips, that he wants to burn and turn to ashes. The part that wanted to long for Playmaker's words, that wanted to cling and believe in them.

_'I'm able to save you.' 'We'll seize a new future together'_

The words prick his skin like knives, wanting to get under it, to stab through muscle and bones and get to his heart. But that's a part of him he's long closed off, to the world, to others, he's shut it out, too afraid to let himself feel, to be vulnerable. In the road he walks, he can't afford those mistakes. In his destiny, what he has to do is clear and he can't hesitate.

But Playmaker's words had stun him, had made him stumble even if for only a moment, they'd tried to reach past the intricate mask he'd built. Playmaker had let down his own walls to reach out to Ryoken, telling him there's a new path ahead that they can walk together, a future they can seize.

 _'Then show me! With your dueling!'_ For a moment, Ryoken had wanted to see it.

But he has long learned that doesn't exist. There is no room for such a selfish longing. He only has his destiny and he will be back for it.

He forcibly tears his eyes way from his father and starts his retreat. He has to leave, now.

“You're really going.”

The voice makes him pause. It's not a question, it's an affirmation. He tilts his head just enough to see Yusaku standing a few paces away.

“You don't have to, you know.”

The words tick him off somehow. Of course he has to leave. If he stays he'll just start wishing for things he can't have, if he stays he'll doubt and be confused.

“ _Oh_?” He musters a smirk, humorless, turning a little towards Yusaku. “You really expect me to stay? And what _then_?” He arches an eyebrow. “We become friends?”

Yusaku doesn't say anything but the determined look on his face is the same as when they dueled. It's as if his telling him _'that's right'_ , so sure, so convinced he can save Ryoken, that they can be something other than enemies, rivals. That they can be _friends_. The word burns in his throat.

“Don't delude yourself, Playmaker.” He frowns. “You and I will never be friends. We can never be. Our destinies are bound together by something else.” He turns his face away. “And it only ends in fighting.”

“Do we really have to keep fighting?” That question, again, now softer and lower.

“If you interfere again, we will.” He looks at Yusaku head on, eyes ablaze with his own determination. “Don't lower your guard. Next time, I _will_ destroy the Ignis.”

Yuasku is silent, seemingly in thought and looking at his shoes. Ryoken decides this is enough and makes to retreat but that's when Yusaku speaks up, freezing him with his back turned to him.

“Then I'll fight.” There's no hesitation as he talks. “And then I'll just tell you the same I did today.” He hears Yusaku take a step forward.

“We are part of the same world. When I look at you, I don't see an abyss standing between us. You saved _me_ \--” His voice is a fire, words burning on Ryoken's skin.“And I will save _you_. I don't care how much I have to say it, or how long I have to wait for you to understand...I'll tell you again and again. Until you believe me.”

He's glad Yusaku can't see his face. Because every ounce of composure he so delicately crafted feels like it's going to come apart right then, under the raw intensity and honesty Yusaku's words carry. He doesn't get it, he doesn't understand. He's so afraid of the part that reaches for it. He clenches his fists.

“Then you will waste your breath.” He has to leave, he can't stay. He says nothing more and walks away, not daring to see what kind of face Yusaku is wearing, fearing his eyes will see right through him. Yusaku doesn't follow him, doesn't say anything more, but his voice rings in Ryoken's ears even when he's far from shore, standing on his boat and watching the sun disappear in the horizon.

His chest burns. Yusaku's words try to engrave themselves deeper into his mind, try to reach his heart but Ryoken fights it, swats them away, shields his heart with iron walls. What he needs is to be away, to recompose himself, convince himself that there is only one future for him, one way for him to follow. If he focuses only on it he doesn't have to waver, he doesn't have to bare open his heart.

One by one stars begin to lit up the sky and Ryoken watches them. For just a second he wishes he were home, watching Stardust Road, but he's quick to push that feeling down. Nostalgia won't help him. Remembering how he used to watch it with his father won't make his grieving easier.

'Home' feels like such a foreign concept to him now. Such a thing doesn't belong to him anymore. He has nothing left expect for his mission, his destiny. Like the stars at night, like his father's hand on his shoulder, he will let it be his guide. He doesn't need anything else, doesn't have to wish for a future any different.

It's the only thing he has to believe in.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also at  
> moonlights0nata on tumblr  
> @moons0nata on twitter


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